Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal
__NOWYSIWYG__ Noah's Mirror I reviewed over my mistakes on the first one, and I added categories, as well as took out the excess Tildes. I'm certain the flow of the story is good, as well as the grammar as I had several people, far more literate than I check over it, and inform me of Misspellings and such. LittleCircusMonster (talk) 16:40, March 6, 2015 (UTC)LittleCircusMonster :Just to state outright, you have to make a deletion appeal before reuploading a story. Even if you fixed all the issues you thought were present, the person who deleted it may have had some other problem with it. (If it used blacklisted subjects, violated ToU, overused cliched elements, etc.) Onto the story itself. :Please do not indent your paragraphs. I know it is common for books to be published that way, but on this wiki, it can cause some pretty nasty formatting errors and should be avoided. Also try to avoid starting new paragraphs off with pronouns as it can confuse the reader about who's being addressed. (It could be misconstrued that it you are discussing Matthew or his father.) Also avoid using ellipses outside of their original use (pauses in dialogue or omission of words from a quote.) as a 'dramatic pause' as it can mess with the flow of a story and appears melodramatic. :Punctuation issues: words that directly impact another should be linked or hyphenated. ("know it all" should be know-it-all) Issues with apostrophes. "other boys' (boy's) hand." 'boys' (hand)' would imply a plural when Noah is referring to only Matthew. Words like carnival should only be capitalized if referring to a specific one. (The Bigtop Carnival.) :Wording: incomplete/fragmented sentences "He hated his parents, (who were) always arguing over stupid things.(,/;) Things he didn't care about." (Additionally it would help build the story if you went into more detail about their arguments.), " A single bed, a desk with a large oval mirror, a T.V. stand.", "Coming to a stop(,) he frowned.", "Wicked laughter echoed before fading away, (extra space)the house (was) left silent and filled with decay." Tense issues: "This only further separating (separated) him..." (The story is told in past tense so make the verbs past tense.) "Noah (had) quite the silver tongue,". :Story issues: The clown antagonist gives the story a very Laughing Jack feel to it which unfortunately telegraphed the ending. Matthew's parents also seem to have no personality/drive and are one-dimensional. ("his father was drunk most of the time, and his mother was a condescending know it all..." There needs to be more development here. Also the story would greatly benefit from description. (Especially the clown's transformation. "..., his dainty hands now clawed. His head tilted sharply, bangs parting, exposing black eyes with dark veins leading from them." Also avoid black/red eyes. They tend to be overused in creepypastas and have lost their original impact. I think this story needs some work before it is up to quality standards. I would suggest taking it or your next story to the writer's workshop first for feedback. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:26, March 6, 2015 (UTC) Unblinking Eyes The name of the pasta is Unblinking Eyes. I went through, fixed spelling, deleted all cliche things, and still it was not to the quality standards. I used all original ideas, did not skimp on description, read it out loud to make sure it made sense. I also checked with a parent to make sure it flowed well, and they agreed. I personally think that I have done everything correct, but if not, please let me know. Simmer2001 (talk)Simmer2001 :First and foremost, you story is one large paragraph. It needs to be broken up. A typical paragraph is five-ten sentences long. Any more and it's difficult to read and is an eyesore. Additionally numbers lower than ten should be written out (unless monetary amounts of time.) Dialogue should also be spaced to new lines and two speakers should never be in the same paragraph to prevent confusion. :Punctuation issues: commas missing where needed/overused. "saying(,) "Be my friend. Please be my friend."", "The third night, I stared at Arabella for a while,(not needed) and heard the voice again, saying the same thing.", :Story issues: this is entirely too rushed. You need to build more on descriptions and build-up the nights some. It feels like a checklist, night one: slept fine, night two: voices, night three: more voices. There needed to be more events and build-up to develop a sense of tension. Finally your story has been done a number of times already. Ranging from poke pastas like Jessica and video games like Sadie's Revenge. It really wasn't up to our quality standards due to these issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:01, March 6, 2015 (UTC) The girl in the window/The red coat girl Pasta name here Pasta name here So, why was my page deleted? It was deleted 2 times- once because it used the same title, so I reposted it with a new title and you still denied it. Why did you deny it? I checked all spelling, everything, and I still dont know why you deleted it. ~~~~